History repeated
The atrium at the English Building. UIUC.
Early mornings, late nights.
Scrambling to get papers written by hand to later put in a tiny word processor.
I sit here now with my new laptop. The trees are gone, the sofas torn, yellow foam stuffing exposed, like the ugly fat sucked out in liposuction.
What once was lovely and inspiring–skylights, curved conversation centers for group work, tables for eating and gathering with colleagues–sit empty, austere and institutional instead of the embracing space of old.
Yet I am here with colleagues, each writing and sharing. The space isn’t important, or is it? My previous posts in this writing marathon were thoughtful and caring….now all I feel is stark distance from my surroundings. THIS place should feel more comforting. It was my haven for so many countless hours of graduate school. I feel displaced, disconnected, discontent.
That’s the way University remodels go, I guess. It’s only been 25 years since the last remodel….nothing in University time moves quickly. Just like my memories.
I have heard that University buildings are on a 30 year remodeling cycle. Oddly enough Uni High School must be on a 90 year recycling schedule…we have yet to get a renovation. But I relate to your tender feelings for special spots. Apparently nothing stays the same forever (except Uni H.S.).
I feel the same way about the College of Education building, although it seems as though it has not changed in the past 17 years. Each time I revisit the building, memories start to flood my mind, I can’t get that smell out of my head……